Yesterday, I remember leaning over in my office chair, hands on head, and staring at my brown boots completely stalled and lacking drive and passion. I was thinking how did I get here – in this state-run office with a sanctioned dress code staring at a computer 8 hours a day? With folks that drive Mercedes and BMWs to work everyday and live out in the suburbs in their little bubbles?
(I warned you I have grumpy tendencies)
Then came the wash of gratitude for having a job that allows me to the live the life I am able to, continuing on my journey towards what I am discerning is my vocation. A job that has provided stability, a roof over my head, a place to host friends in communal meals, invest in the holistic care I dearly believe in, healthy food in my fridge, clean water to drink, a boss that cares for me and really wants me to follow my dreams, and the list can continue to go on and on and on.
This above scenario repeats itself quite frequently.
I dream and I always will and I love this part of myself. Though it is easy to lose what is standing in front and alongside you when you stay in your daydreams for too long.
“It does not do to dwell on your dreams and forget to live.” – Dumbledore
Recently, I’ve had to remind myself to see the details of life – to see God’s beauty even in my concrete parking lot. I’ve learned it is possible and pretty spectacular.
Here is a snapshot: As I was leaving for lunch yesterday, grumpy discontented and all, I vaguely heard a bird chirping. I let my ears open and then I heard multiple birds from all the corners of this blackened cement lot singing to one another and maybe even to this strange girl with a grimace on her face who was dragging her feet to her car. Joy presented itself and I took hold of it for this moment.
It’s easy to stay locked in tunnel vision – to stare at the clock for your time to run far, far away from this strange corporate world. However, if I’m honest this “strange world” has taught me many lessons – that I can let pride ruin a moment of servitude or miss an opportunity to hear someone’s story because I falsely believe I already know their “privileged” story based upon the kind of car they drive. This world has helped me realize that I find it easy to love the “poor”, but the rich – ohhh now this is a struggle.
I am learning my weaknesses and this will prepare me for when I land into the role/position I believe God has created me for. I will try to no longer waste my days away planning my life once I am in that role. I can and will do many small things today. This might include graciously cleaning my boss’ desk and shining it even though this is not in my job description, listening to someone that I know I’ve assumed many negative things about and start to humanize their story in my mind and see the light of God in them. My eyes can greet the person coming down my street rather than staying downcast to avoid my red cheeks from glowing. There are multiple things I and we can do daily to embrace the God in life, the God in people, the God in nature.
Let’s not wait any longer but remove whatever foggy glasses and earmuffs we are wearing and truly see and hear ALL of the world – even when it drives us a bit crazy or scare us.
“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa